Five Day Cruel, Annoyed Girlfriend Experience

Is your d*ck small? Are you incapable of making enough money to take care of me? Are you the least attractive guy in your group of friends? Do my girlfriends tell me how pathetic you are every time your name comes up? Are you balding? Are you overweight? Are your jokes so bad I can only laugh AT you and never WITH you? Let me tell you all the ways you disappoint me even though I’ll never leave because it makes me too happy to watch you cry.

This includes (but is not limited to):
- A morning conversation with photos from bed each morning to remind you that you’re still not good enough to sleep in my bed
- A 30-minute check-in each afternoon to see how you managed to f**k everything up again today
- A goodnight conversation with photos each night before bed to remind you that I’m seriously so far out of your league
- Unlimited communication on weekdays 8:00-3:00p EST (this does NOT include full nudity)

🛑 Exclusions: I genuinely find you to be intolerable and nothing you do is ever going to reach my standards, so this obviously does NOT include s**ting or related activities. I’m open to suggestions and special requests.

100.00 USD 1000

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